I’m Sat on the plane to Milan at the moment and all I can think about is Instagram, am I gonna be able to get that perfect shot outside the cathedral? Will we go to any Instagramable places where I can take amazing photos? Will the photo I posted this morning be okay? I mean it’ll be fine right? I’m only on the plane for a few hours….
It’s honestly like I can’t stop myself spending hours and hours and hours on my phone, all day everyday. I do my fair share of meditation and yoga in the mornings and evenings to stop me from being dragged straight into social media the moment I wake up – that can’t be healthy. Honestly the reason I didn’t want to go away last year was because I was trying my best to grow my Instagram and my business, which is ridiculous isn’t it? I felt anxious about going away, it made me feel like I was leaving something behind… I don’t know why! The thought of going anywhere further than the M25 made me not want to go, never mind to Mexico or Bali! I even feel weird about going home for a few days.
In my mind, All I see is, it’s my full time income I can’t switch off, in other people’s minds it’s their down time, it’s what they do when they’re chilling, scrolling through Instagram, shopping and watching YouTube. Everyone is glued to their phones, I often get moaned at by my boyfriend about my phone, it’s not that he isn’t supportive because he’s supported everything I’ve ever done and I know he’s so proud, but it’s so true. It’s taking quality time away from people I love and travelling the world and that’s not okay.
So yes I’m on the plane to Milan, I’ve put an out of office on for the first time in a year and a half and although I’m writing this now, which technically is work… I’m not doing anything else. I’m not pressurising myself to get perfect photos in Milan I have enough content in my photos from London, I want to enjoy a weekend with my boyfriend without having to feel anxious about Instagram (please note. When I say anxious I do not mean I suffer with anxiety) although since I started blogging, I have become more tense and on edge. I’ve noticed it and a few people around me have noticed it. I’m just going to try and switch off and ignore my phone as much as possible for the trip because realistically.. if my photo doesn’t get 1000 likes, it’s not the end of the world.
In Milan –
I’m trying my hardest not to let it bother me and not to check, I’ve turned my mobile data off just so I can have some time away and honestly it’s quite hard. This place is beautiful though, I would have a field day shooting 20 outfits here! We did some shopping and I checked to see if my photo was doing well, you know the one that we took at the cathedral and yes it was fine, I thought to myself, okay nothing to worry about, I can continue to have a great day. I’ve noticed that when I watch my photo and I know it’s not doing very well I’m on my phone twice as much, but It’s not going to do any better with me watching it trying to force the engagement is it? Yes commenting and liking peoples photos does help before and after but I don’t need to sit here for hours trying to boost my photo right? I’m just going to get the 3 photos I want and then that’s it, no pressure.
On the plane home –
I feel so refreshed, I was on my phone but no where near as much as normal, the photos were easy to take it took me and Conor 5 minutes to shoot and 10 minutes to edit it, I always stumble across a location that matches my outfit somehow and I did exactly the same thing in Milan, I didn’t feel the need to take several images I thought I would stick to the three I knew I wanted. I could’ve shot so many out there but I wasn’t there to work, I was there to find the best gluten free, dairy free pizza and drink lots of wine – which I did, not forgetting to enjoy some time with my boyfriend.
I feel like the worry and stress around Instagram is for no reason, I’m not disconnected because I’m in a different country. I hit my next milestone whilst I was away.. can’t believe 25,000 people follow me on Instagram, I can’t believe that 2500 people watch my stories and over 1000 people like my photos, I can’t believe that people buy stuff I recommended on rewardStyle and I can’t believe that I’ve created this opportunity for myself, I just feel like it’s so hard not to stress sometimes but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. It’s not life or death because you didn’t post twice today, it’s okay. Life is about balance and we all need some time out sometimes, even if it is just for 10 hours before you post your next photo.
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