I Hate summer, yeah I said it. I say it every single year and here’s why… Ok I can hear you now saying “she’s crazy, how can she hate summer” just like my dad said “it’s lovely stop moaning” I will beg to differ that being on the central line dripping with sweat with a stranger in my personal space is very far from lovely. What I mean is, I hate summer in London. It’s not meant to be hot here, we all have a mental breakdown as soon as it’s 30 degrees, buying paddling pools for our balconies with no hose pipes and not to mention Argos can’t even keep their fans in stock. I had 3 COLD showers the other day 3…..
Anyway the sweaty, unbreathable air and the vile arm pit’s in my face on the tube aren’t the only reason I don’t particularly like summer. It’s the fashion, I love a little tie dress or denim shorts and a crop top but god save me it’s so boring, I have so much more fun with winter clothing, in terms of layering and styling. You just can’t do that so much with summer fashion because all you want to do is be naked, never mind worrying if the this lace top looks right over this tee, which will only come off in 10 mins because it’s too hot, underwear as outerwear? take it all off.
Autumn… I’m ready for you hun.
Am I Failing?
I can’t help but think that I’m failing, me and my boyfriend still share a flat with two other people, I work my little bum off from my kitchen table where I have to wipe away someone else’s dinner from the night before and I have no space at night I can chill and write because the whole flat is occupied, I have no space for my clothes/deliveries so they end up just being scattered EVERYWHERE.
I do live in an expensive area of East London and I’ve just signed to stay another year at this place but tbh I can’t help but feel I’ve outgrown this flat now, I just want my own space. I know if we lived further out then we could afford a flat but apparently that’s not on the cards. Relationships are about sacrifice he says (eye roll)
I guess I’m just done with the whole, you didn’t buy the last bin bags and fighting over the kitchen to make dinner… so done.
TBF my flat does have 2 balconies, 2 bathrooms and is modern and lovely but I could do with the whole flat myself lol priced at £2400 a month I don’t think that’s an option just yet. I guess I’ll have to just get on with it until I don’t have to anymore. I mean let’s be honest, it could be a whole lot worse right?
I don’t think I’m failing at work, I think I’m not working smart enough. “Work smart hours not long hours” they say. I get very easily distracted and downloading the app that tells you how many hours you spend on your phone was erm.. not the best idea (it made me feel worse) I’ve always been very good at looking forwards and not sideways, I tend to try and not think why did they get that campaign and I didn’t. Sometimes it’s hard not to be a big self critic, am I doing okay? is often a question I ask myself along with am I working to the best of my ability? which is usually followed with probably not. OK so how can I work better? more effectively, how can I grow this into a big business rather than a small one? – I have no clue haha the reality is I have no idea what I’m doing and how long it’s all going to last for so I guess I just have to take it day by day right? – I’m earning way more than I was working full time in retail or in any other job that I really hated from aged 16-22 so It’s fine right? time will tell I guess.
The Word Influencer makes me cringe
Being completely honest here (as always lol), the word influencer really makes me cringe. I feel as though it sounds like something that’s not very important, when actually an influencer can be the difference between the product selling for a business and not selling, so they are very important. Why do I have such a big problem with being called an influencer? I feel like people eye roll and they don’t think it’s a proper job. You know the burning question everyone loves to ask “what are you going to do after instagram” well I own my website? Also we have marketing transferable skills so that isn’t my worry at all really, hang on why am I explaining myself, If I’m not concerned why are you?….
Anyway.. Have a good rest of the week whilst I try and figure out how to work smarter.. x
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