I touched a little bit on this in my Why I hate summer, the word influencer and am I failing post, why do we tend to look sideways instead of forwards? Do we realise the damage that’s done by looking sideways? and Why I try my hardest not to do it (with all my will power)…
I recently listened to Fearn Cottons podcast “happy place” after a recommendation from Instagram and in one of them, she interviewed Paloma Faith and there is something she said that has stuck with me for a few days, when she said it I thought that’s exactly what I try to do, although obviously sometimes I fail. She said ” It’s a lot about internal drive and I am competitive but with myself, I don’t really look left and right to see whose next to me” – Fearne goes on to say how that’s such a hard trait to have and she’s right.
“I just dance to the beat of my own drum”
Since I heard that line, I feel like something is changing, I’ve stopped moaning about jobs that I want and don’t get and I’ve started focusing on which jobs I think are right for me, which brands align with MY style and what I want to say/show. It made me think back to the post I wrote on imitation in the blogging industry as well. There are some things you can’t avoid like the same locations however what you bring to that location should be you and purely your own style.
It’s made me think about my blog and what direction I would like to take it in. As I watched the numbers slowly grow, I got into the habit of thinking well whose going to read it anyway? Does anyone actually care? rather than writing not just for my readers but also for myself. I’d forgotten the reason I started my blog and that was because I wanted something to do in my spare time that I enjoyed, I also started it to help me gain more confidence in writing because I enjoy it but I know I wasn’t very good. I wanted to be good. I still want to improve but to improve I have to at least put some effort in right?
Being Disciplined Enough For Success
It’s hard discipline, it may not look like something I struggle with because I always post on my blog (even if it’s not very good) and on my instagram, I always have at least 5/9 photos in the bank ready to go. Only because I know it makes me really nervous when I don’t have that content for you, I love sharing affordable outfits and if I didn’t have a photo I would probably feel so sad, that I’d missed a second to share something with you. How much discipline is too much? You still have to enjoy yourself and go out. I’m 23 not 40, I guess this is the struggle most people have with a work life balance. I’m either too far one way or too far the other.
The Damage Looking Sideways Does
If you focus so much on what other people are doing, it can really effect you mentally. Every time I catch myself thinking “why don’t I look like that” I have to have a serious word with myself and be like no. stop that. I think you can really start to loose yourself when you pay too much attention to other people, it can really get you down and make you feel worthless. I always have to remind myself, you know that saying (eye roll) “no one is you, that is your power” It’s true though right? It’s not easy to see all these perfect people who seem to have perfect lives, but nothing is perfect.. surely?
I remember looking at people and thinking god I wish my blog was as good as theirs or I wish I could write like that, but you can’t compare your 1st chapter to someone else’s 10th.
It’s not a race.
The Blogging Community
We’re all on our own journey, our own paths, a friend had said how they over took someone on instagram and I’ve overtaken people but we get so caught up in the numbers but what do they even mean? It’s not a competition? There are more than enough jobs for everyone. If you didn’t get a job someone else got more than likely it was because the brand doesn’t fit your style, so why would you wanna work with a brand who doesn’t fit YOUR voice? I don’t….
It can be a catty competitive little industry this one we’re in for no reason. We should be helping each other not laughing at each other. We should be trying to set the level for brands so they don’t take advantage of us, if we were willing to share more with each other then I’m pretty sure I would never hear the line “Oh I found out they offered her more” but like any industry, we aren’t a community. I heard that we used to be a community way before I was around, I saw someone tweet saying they didn’t want to attend an event because it’s like being at school and all the cool kids wouldn’t talk to her. That’s not nice. We’re meant to network with each other, in every other industry people go to networking events to meet like minded people, I could be in a room full of people who do the same as me and no one will say hi. Funny enough I’m ballsy enough to say “Hi my name is Lauren what’s yours?” But some people aren’t that confident.
I’ve felt awkward at some events where I’ve felt like I don’t want to say hello because I don’t know what kind of reaction I’m going to get from someone. If we had less of this feeling then maybe we would be a community. I guess it is what it is.
Look forward not side ways x
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