Well I have a new found blog post inspiration which are podcasts, well podcasts mixed with recent events for this one. This week I’m listening to “When Life Gives You Melons” By Maya Jama. The friendship breakup, we’ve all been through it right? In every friendship there will be ups and downs but where is the breakup point? Where is the line that can’t be crossed that you have to stop being friends with that person? So let’s talk about new friendships, friends that are like family, the big breakups and the not so big ones.
I used to love making new friends and I still do love it when you meet someone new and you’re like yes, this person is on my wave length we have got to be mates. I think if we are going to be friends we will click pretty much straight away. I think both of you just know, you know? For instance, my best friend now, her name is Alex (if you didn’t know), we’ve known each other for about a year so not that long really – and she is now like my sister. We just clicked STRAIGHT away and now we are just inseparable. I’ll go to hers, she’ll come to mine and we’ll work sometimes together on the weekend etc I can tell her ANYTHING with no judgement.
I feel like through the ages of 18-25, especially with the kind of work that I do, I meet new people all the time so it’s kind of unavoidable that new friendships are formed and people come and go. I guess the drifting is mainly to do with different life stages really. I chose to go to University and then I chose to leave and it’s not that I don’t like those new friends I made there, it’s more so that we’re on different paths and sometimes you just drift apart!
I have a couple of friends that I’ve been friends with for years and they’re the type of friends where you won’t speak for a few months and then when you meet up it’s like you see each other all the time. Those friendships are actually amazing, I have a friend her name is Ashleigh and we’ve been friends since I was like 5 years old and obviously I moved to London and she has children and we don’t really see each other but it’s great when we do sometimes get to actually catch up.
I feel like friendship break ups with people you’ve been friends with for years can be really difficult, for me anyway. If an issue has happened and we are old friends then, I mean unless you have slept with my boyfriend, we will probably sort the situation out. I think I’ve only really been through an old break up once and it was a friend, I was close friends with for quite a few years and there wasn’t really one thing that happened, it was lots of smaller things on both sides and we kind of just came to the conclusion that we wasn’t going to be friends anymore. It is kind of weird when you do have a friendship break up like that because you’re so used to having that person there and then they aren’t anymore, kind of like an actual breakup really.
Betrayal In A Friendship
I can be quite a cut throat person when it does come to new friendships, I feel like the line that would make me personally be like hell no, is betrayal. If you betray me, I find it easier to be like no this person is not my friend and then not speak to that person again. I mean I wouldn’t just cut anyone out because I’m not rude, but I’m quite happy to say my piece and then be done. What is a friendship without trust? I know people handle things a lot differently to me sometimes and I understand that not everyone has a closed off approach, I have just come to terms with, that is the way that I am. I handle my upset by shutting someone out because I think removing myself from a situation will prevent me from being betrayed again and the quicker I do that, the better it is for me.
If we’ve invested a lot of time into the friendship, I might be a little more likely to be like okay so this has happened what can we do to resolve it, we both still want to be friends so let’s sort it out! (unless you have not been loyal) Loyalty is the main thing for me in a friendship and if there aren’t early signs of loyalty then that makes me sad.
Trust Your Gut Instinct And Know The Girl Code
When it comes to friendship break up’s, trust your gut instinct because usually if you know there isn’t something quite right, you’re right. My boyfriend is a like my little protector, I can bring a new friend round to meet him and because we’ve been together for so long, he just knows.. he’s an amazing judge of character from an outside point of view. There has been a good 4 or 5 friends over the past however many years I’ve bought to meet him and he’s always right in the end. I got betrayed by all of them… how weird is that?
There is a girl code, don’t sleep with people’s ex’s (unless permission is given), don’t sleep with their boyfriends, don’t slag off your friend behind their back, don’t leave your friend alone when she’s drunk, be honest in all situations yes, even when she has lipstick all over her teeth or a bit of herb from her sandwich at lunch, always complement when your friend looks amazing even if you don’t. You know they are just RULES you follow… Or maybe that’s just my standards on how you should act in a friendship.
I had this one “friend” where she would absolutely flirt with my boyfriend and try and cause issues between us which is so weird. I’m afraid she was one of my flat mates too which is hilarious, safe to say she didn’t last very long and the front door soon closed on her.
I would love to know your thoughts and experiences with friendship breakups and where you think the line is?
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